IVAN OR IAN???? Monday, December 16, 10:54 PM

Hi. I have been reading "The Idiot" by Elif Batuman. Unfortunately, it resonates with me due to my situation with one I. Quinn that is like the narrator's situation with Ivan. yuck. It is all very dramatic and I would argue that is exactly how it feels.This is how she described talking with Ivan and his gf:
"Suddenly the image came into my mind of her putting on her lipstick in the morning while Ivan stood in the door and they talked about nothing, like they were doing now—about the trivial and contentious things that somehow made up the whole of life. Everything stopped. Space and time shut down, one dimension at a time, the sky collapsing from a dome to a plane, the plane collapsing into a line, and then there were no surroundings, there was nothing but forward, and then there wasn't even forward."

Ivan is so weird and says really forward flirt things that she doesn't know what to do with. She's just like what. What am I supposed to do. I feel that way all of the time.
I will say I hate him but then bat my eyes when he sees me and make him say 'tutorpalooza' as many times as possible and then watch him linger as he says it's good to see me and wonder if